I haven’t written a single poem in almost 4 years and got the itch to today. Initially I began writing a blog post but decided I’d better express myself by writing a poem (the first of several to come.)

This one is a quick freestyle poem (not about me, for anyone wondering.)

Ages pass, recurrent mistakes linger.
Spirits desperate for a glimmer of hope
Scarred and reticent to risk again
The soul, gasping for warmth
Shunned by callous caution.
Nary a missed opportunity
Escapes scrutiny, rendering 
A scourge wrought on one’s self
Yearning for even the illusion of reprieve
Courage, fortitude, initiative
The token of progress
Eludes discovery once again.

A couple of weeks ago after I received my one year review from my employer, I spoke with someone I trust and had them pray with me regarding my future at the company and we asked God to either change things at my current job or make it clear that I was to go elsewhere. The review didn’t point out anything negative in my performance, it just didnt add any sort of pay raise, and from this point forward it was going to be another year ’til the next review. After the glory of birthday weekend I was treated to lunch by my boss for a belated birthday celebration, which was nice. Unfortunately the next day I was informed that my pay was being restructured, effective immediately. This wouldn’t be a problem for me save the fact that this “restructuring” was a blatant cut in pay, both in regards to how much labor needs to be performed in order to earn commission, and the commission percentage itself. Once I ran some numbers through my timelog spreadsheet it was basically a 30% cut in pay which, in light of my faithful 1+ year of service and ownership of new responsibilities over that time, is in principle unacceptable. Add to that the fact that I barely make ends meet as it is. Shortly after hearing the bad news from my boss, I remembered the prayer and realized this was God’s answer: Time to go, Christopher.
Having performed on-site service in Pasadena for about 16 months now I know the ins and outs of surrounding cities, am comfortable with the area, etc. I’ve also enjoyed living in Baldwin Park with three of my friends that I met at APU a few years back. Once I started searching for a new IT job I quickly realized that my chances of getting another position in Pasadena that pays me what my expenses require were very slim. Nearly all of the job listings on Dice, Monster, Careerbuilder, and Craigslist are in the LA area, specifically downtown and west LA. Getting something out there almost certainly means that in 2 months when our one year lease term comes to an end, I will be relocating to the heart of the city or close to it. I’ve seen time and time again how bad the LA commute can be and what it does to one’s level of available time for other activities outside of work…it’s something I refuse to take on if I don’t have to.
Assuming that I relocate, it will mean the dissolution of the household I currently reside in. The last year has been amazing in many ways, especially in terms of my growth as a person in regards to my emotional health, responsibility, and my journey in Christ. While it will probably be bittersweet to move on to the next chapter in life, I know that God has a purposeful plan and has already been enacting it in my life in ways that may or may not include my whims(i.e. staying in a house with good friends, dating, etc). Friendships have been cultivated, deepened, challenged, and rewarded. I trust that if God’s will for me is to move on, then He will provide everything I need in the transition time and beyond. Aside from that I just seek to further His kingdom by continuing to serve and minister to others and demonstrating Christ-like love.
I know that some friendships will deepen and some will fade, but I’m not worried. It brings a certain excitement in me because I believe God is shaping my future even now as I’m typing this…He will provide the right people for me to have purposeful relationships with. He has used my friendships, in the last couple years especially, to support, change, humble, challenge, and encourage me. Following His call even in uncertainty just makes me that much more expectant that more positive growth is on the way, in whatever form and time it takes.
A new season is coming.

On Friday I turned 25…I was ready. The day was filled with many encouraging things such as this: After a brief service call in the morning, I took my car in to my tire shop because my front right tire has been consistently losing pressure faster than the others. When I got there, they said it would take approximately 20 minutes to diagnose and fix. It ended up taking an hour, but not only did they NOT charge me anything for the service, they also gave me a ($45 value) free hubcap to replace one that had fallen off of one of my wheels a few weeks ago. It was quite a good start to the day

After work I drove out to the San Fernando Valley and had dinner at Claim Jumper with my parents and younger brother. It was really nice to see them and even nicer to enjoy a good meal together in a peaceful spirit of celebration. The food was fabulous as usual (seared ahi sashimi appetizer for life) and the obligatory free birthday dessert was quite literally the icing on the cake. When I got home I found a card in my mailbox from my parents that deeply touched my heart and made my eyes well up just a little
I grabbed one of my roommates and went to CVS to pick up some drinks and a cooler. Upon returning home I wound down and went to bed early (10:30PM) knowing that the next day, Saturday the 19th, would require as much energy as possible.

I woke up at 6:45 and began doing laundry and took my morning supplements. I drove to 24-hour fitness and got some good lifting in and arrived back home before 12 and took a shower. After packing up the cooler with some drinks and ice packs, I threw it in the trunk of my car and took off to Azusa to pick up my friend Luis. Together we headed to Newport Beach to get settled in at the boat rental place early and also to scout out a potential dinner location. Thankfully all was as it should be and we had some extra time to chill on Balboa Peninsula. Right across from the boat rental company there was a little free nautical museum with some very interesting models (the ship steam engine was my favorite) and a touch tank with some sea stars/slugs in it. Friends began to arrive at around 3:00PM and by 4:15PM all 10 of us were out on the 21′ electric boat we had secured for a couple hours. The weather was splendid. It was mostly sunny with a slight haze and a delightful salty sea air breeze. Immediately after launching we cracked open the cooler which now contained several kinds of beverages and made short work of a few bottles of sparkling lemonade mixed with Pimm’s…yummy! There was lots of laughter and several moments that will not be forgotten for a long time…probably ever. But we won’t get into details *cough* Luis *cough*.
Just after 6 we pulled back up to the dock after having a brief sojourn in the sandbar-laden Upper Newport Bay (restricted area…whoops) and a loop around Lido Island. We chose Mimi’s for our dinner destination and made it there in a few minutes, despite taking a small detour onto the PCH and back. Most of us had arrived by then sans one vehicle and we had great fun for a few moments discussing the possible whereabouts of said vehicle and its occupants.

The service at Mimi’s was impeccable; separate checks were approved without any issue whatsoever. The chicken cordon bleu hit the spot as usual and a slice of birthday pie that followed was so richly delicious that I had one bite and then handed off the rest to my friends who devoured it with reckless abandon. The ride home consisted of dropping Sheena off at home nearby in Costa Mesa, and then a muted conversation between Luis and myself (so as not to wake the sleeping Dayna in the backseat) as we made our way back up the 55, 5, 57, 60, and 605 freeways. Once we got back home we immediately flipped on the gamecube and engaged in brutal cartoon warfarein the form of Super Smash Bros: Melee. A drink and a few hours later, it was time to wrap it all up. I drove to Azusa to drop Luis off, then to the old standby Taco King with Dayna before dropping her off in Monrovia. By now it was quite late and I headed home where I promptly collapsed into bed, thinking happy thoughts and drifting away into slumber.

Sunday started off with the final membership class at Foothill Community Church in Azusa. Mike and I have been taking the membership class there and next week we will attain our membership at last :)  After church we went out to lunch and then parted ways. I did some shopping at Big Lots and picked up refreshments for the housewarming party at Dayna and Leah’s later in the day. While parking in the CVS lot to get some El Jimador, I noticed some people standing around a free medical clinic. I had an hour and a half before I was due to pick Luis up to go to the housewarming party in West LA, so I registered for it and sat down to have my blood pressure and glucose levels taken. As part of the dental and vision examinations I was given a free toothbrush, floss, take-home pregnancy test, and a plastic daily pill organizer week-long thingy. I shot over to Lu’s at around 1:30PM and we went to Jack in the Box because Luis was ravenous. After that we got on the freeway and made it to Palms in record time, giving us enough of a window to pick up some ice and limes at Ralph’s before finally arriving at our destination at Dayna and Leah’s place at the stroke of 4.

The party was a great time to relax and enjoy several finger foods and some serious spinach artichoke dip that Aimee made. She also brought her pet iguana, Godzilla, who is simply enormous at over 5 feet long. He and I shared a few special moments together before we both decided we were better off pursuing other relationships…*sniff*. Seriously though it was really cool to pet him and see an iguana like that in person. The infamous always-comfortable-green-couches looked inviting so I spent a good deal of time lounging about. However, there was enough excitement to keep us all moving around and eventually we settled down to watch Loaded Weapon 1 at around 8:30PM. I had never seen it before but I quickly realized what I had been missing…it was totally hilarious. The night was capped off by yet another good long conversation with Luis on the way back to the San Gabriel Valley.

In summation, the weekend was amazing. I am once again completely humbled and honored to have the friends that I do. Their love and friendship means so much to me and I am grateful for each of them. I received a birthday card from one of them while at Mimi’s that totally made my night and meant a lot. So thank you, James. Now that it’s back to the grind of the workweek, I’m left with wonderful memories of the weekend and a lingering peaceful happiness.

Thank you, friends. 

Yes, way too much time has passed since my last post. Life has been extremely taxing for the last few months, in both figurative and literal ways. I’m still working at AJCC Tech in Pasadena and business has been good enough that I’m able to make ends meet, but just barely. I’ve now been living in Baldwin Park with three roommates since the end of August and I’m loving it! Living alone has its place but living with others gives so much more opportunity for growth as a person. I’m definitely experiencing some stretching that is testing my character, resolve, and strength to be the person I believe I should be.
    One of the biggest things going on in my life right now is a refocusing on God as my first priority. For the last year or so I’ve spent a lot of time living for myself and things I thought would make me happy/fulfilled. As I’ve learned, God is much better at that than I am. As I give up the things I cherish most to Him, I experience peace in a profound way that never ceases to amaze me. It’s not that He takes me out of the stressful situations I’m in, He simply gives me the strength to make it through them with His help. Never could enough be said for peace during times of testing and trial.
     Once again I’m reminded of how important community is, and how much God can do through it. I love each and every one of my friends dearly no matter the history and am thankful that they are in my life and I’m in theirs. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Too long has it been since I’ve posted…it’s all been justified though. Life has been tumultuous lately, with many big things going on. First off, I’m moving! I’ve enjoyed living alone in my house here in Temple City but I can save money and cut down on the loneliness factor by moving in with some friends to a house for rent in Baldwin Park. I just got the house keys last night  In other news, I’m on a new diet that will hopefully really work and allow me to function normally in a semi-permanent way. Right now I’m in the first phase of the diet which basically includes homemade organic chicken soup only…it gets old but I’m still feeling well and it’s completely worth it. With everything else going on, time is flying by…finances didn’t allow me to go to my favorite place in the world, Montana, this summer. Nor did I get to go there in the spring, which I usually do as well. I’m confident that next year I’ll be able to afford it, and I’m really looking forward to that.
I truly feel that I am rounding a corner in life, and that the combination of this new diet/new living arrangement could be one of the best things that’s happened to me in awhile.

 Off to work!

It’s been awhile since I posted anything non-political, so here goes. Work is going well (at least monetarily) and for the moment, the stress of having no money has been lifted. I’m a little uneasy about the future right now because of a couple things. First, I’m not getting taxed on my income so come next April I could be in for a nasty tax return. Secondly, my Cobra medical insurance expires in the next 5 months and I currently have no replacement lined up. My boss had a couple independent agents come in and neither of their policies cover someone with my pre-existing diseases (ulcerative colitis, ankylosing spondylitis). The only way for me to get coverage is if my employer gets on a group plan, or I get married to someone who’s on it. If my employer doesn’t get on the ball I’m going to have to start looking elsewhere again. Usually there is a 90-day period after you start working somewhere before the benefits kick in, and I’m coming up close to being 90 days from my medical insurance expiration.

Other than that, things are going alright. The weather keeps me indoors most of the time that I’m at home, and sleeping at night isn’t very easy without the ceiling fan on full blast. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, since I sleep better with the feeling of air hitting me anyway. Plus I get plenty of time to think and ponder what my next moves in life will be. More later…

I’ve been emailing back and forth with a friend of mine about the state of things in Iraq, Iran, North Korea, and politics in the USA. I thought I would share a couple of excerpts.

Email from my friend: “that’s strange considering they hide so much of what really goes wrong over there also… there’s tons of legitimate news happening over there that other countries play without editing and dispense straight up. If our liberal media really wanted to convince the public we’re failing in Iraq they should run more of those stories. Has the Iraqi disposition changed back to favoring us anymore if that much or their goverment, social and public service structure is intact as your statistics say? Do you feel we’re actually accomplishing anything in Iraq or just trading one problem for another, stable tyranny for unstable quagmire? Death toll on both sides keep rising, troops are spread too thin, Iraqi’s are still inable to fully control their country without us and our troops on the front lines suffer the most with staffing and equipment deficiencies due to political delay and incompetence. Meanwhile the countries that actually pose a WMD threat go untethered…North Korea and Iran anyone?”

My response: “I don’t believe that the so-called “legitimate news” that other countries run are real stories. In general, most other countries have liberal philosophies and political systems and run stories meant to depict the USA in a bad light because of GWB. I often frequent the BBC and Al Jazeera sites to see what kind of stuff is being published, and honestly, it’s hogwash. Al Jazeera is a biggest propaganda machine I’ve ever seen or heard of. BBC isn’t too bad, but even a lot of stories we see in our own media are biased and if read through carefully, it’s obvious that the journalists seem to side more with insurgents and terrorists rather than our own soldiers and ideals. Less than 1000 Iraqi civilians that have died since Operation: Iraqi Freedom started were killed by American errant bombs or gunfire. The rest (about 12,000 or so) have been killed by insurgents, suicide bombers, etc. I HIGHLY encourage you to read this website in its entirety. Be sure to click on “click for details” throughout the page. http://www.logictimes.com/flowchart.htm Please do so with an open mind, and if you like, I absolutely encourage you to attempt to prove anything on the site wrong. I tried to pick it apart and I couldn’t find any errors, nor any flawed logic. The facts are there, and when one sees the entire picture with the real numbers, you realize that things are going pretty damn well over there, all things considered. It’s way too early in the game to be making any judgment calls on how the occupation is turning out anyway. While of course I wish we weren’t there, because war sucks…we’re there and we need to be given the proper resources to do the job. Vietnam went bad because our hands were tied and we were not allowed to use the full force of our own strength. Liberals continue to try to put this war on the same wavelength as Vietnam, even at the cost of more U.S. soldiers’ lives. They want us to pull out of Iraq immediately, declaring defeat, and allowing them to then make a more convincing comparison to Vietnam in that we turned tail and ran home. The difference here is that Vietnam wasn’t our conflict. The Iraq war is. The fact that there are so many terrorists fighting us there is simple proof. While obviously Iraq was not responsible for 9/11, nobody ever said they were. GWB never said Iraq caused 9/11 or Saddam caused 9/11. The decision to end Saddam’s regime was to preemptively lower the terrorists’ ability to wage war against the USA. Notice how there hasn’t been any more attacks on U.S. soil? That’s no coincidence. You can bet that the Iraq war has contributed to safety of our civilians here at home. Apart from the rest (by the way again PLEASE go to that website that I linked you to, do yourself a favor :), talk to some soldiers that have been there…as many as you can, in fact. Ask them about what’s going on and what the people think of America and what we’re doing over there. I guarantee you’ll be surprised. It will be a mixed bag to be sure, but overall I think you’ll be shocked at how differently the media portrays progress over there (they don’t) versus what our young men and women in the armed forces are seeing every day. Oh and about NK and Iran…North Korea right now is realizing that they’re in hot water and are faced with a pretty big decision of whether or not to launch this test missile. If the US shoots it down, it will surely cause both NK and the international community to realize that the US is not a force to be trifled and taunted. North Korea has several times refused to talks with the group of nations that it was supposed to. By going forward with their plans, they have essentially lined themselves up on the chopping block. The US doesn’t need to invade or attack them to show Kim Jong Il that his hopes of being a major power will never be realized. He is an insane dictator that hogs all the money from his land and would rather watch his people all starve and die so that he can have his precious 1950’s technology missile. He’s just a rogue…the country is so impoverished nothing will ever happen over there. There aren’t any terrorists, except Kim Jong Il himself. I encourage you to read up about North Korea and how bad off they are. It’s pretty sad. With Iran, talks will get us nowhere. Regardless of any deals that are made, we all know that Iran will continue, secretly or not, to develop its nuclear weapons program. Eventually this will come to a head and I’m not looking forward to it. Hopefully by then we’ll have more troops available if the need arises. Lessons learned in Iraq will be valuable if the Shah of Iran pushes the envelope. By no means am I hoping for another prolonged occupation of a middle eastern country. I just know that unless something big changes over there, it will continue to escalate until the issue is forced. And for the record, yes I do believe there is major progress happening in Iraq.”

Something that has been bothering me for awhile just surfaced and I need to address it. It isn’t that our political system is any better or worse than the next random country’s out there. It’s that our system is failing us and shows no signs that there will ever be any sort of improvement.

      For a moment, let’s forget the democrat (notice i didn’t say democratic) and republican parties. Let’s think about the direction we want our country to go in as a whole. It’s my belief that the current arrangement of separation of powers creates a bureaucratic nightmare out of ANY sort of bill, law, or proposition that attempts to do anything to alleviate or change a system that isn’t working. It seems that any time the public vote on a proposition, the outcome is trivial because within minutes after the final votes are tallied, someone is off appealing it to a judge who will then suspend the proposition and call it unconstitutional. Seeing as the constitution is open to all kinds of subjective interpretation, it doesn’t take a crystal ball to see that the way of democracy isn’t really working in the United States of America.
    Another example of our political and judicial systems failing us is the ridiculous number of frivolous lawsuits coming from every direction for the most inane reasons known to man: A group gets together at a park and sings the national anthem to commemorate a fallen comrade or to celebrate a patriotic event. A man in another location of the park hears the song, becomes offended because it’s ”infringing on his liberties”, and he files a lawsuit. What the heck? I’m sooo tired of one person getting offended by something stupid and then ruining it for everyone. I could go on for hours listing different lawsuits that have actually been filed just in recent months, but I’m sure anyone reading this will get the picture.

The worst part about all of this is that this is but one of many issues facing America that has no solution in sight. Everyone in congress and the senate are too busy taking polls, being partisan just for the sake of shooting down the other side, and taking money from people they shouldn’t. Heck, even if a few people got together to try to do something good, it wouldn’t happen! Just look at the current immigration bill being pushed through the senate…it’s a simple rehash of what went through during the Reagan administration (which we all know didn’t help matters any) except THIS time, it’s going to allow between 60-250 MILLION new immigrants into the country in the next 20 years. Umm, does anyone else see anything wrong with this? The current population of the USA is close to 300 million.
How on earth would our economy support a 1.5x increase in population? Consider the fact that most of the immigrants coming would not be bringing skilled labor. I just don’t understand the reasoning behind it.

Enough for now, but I’m fired up and the worst part about it is that I know I can’t really make any sort of a difference to fix one bit of it.

Again, it’s been awhile since I posted…I’ve been really busy with work and staying alive financially. I finally broke through as a result of some gift money I received for my birthday (which was yesterday) and am finally out of the woods. My sister Bonnie is getting married this Sunday and it’s just now sinking in that I’m going to have a brother-in-law. He’s an amazing guy and I can’t begin to imagine that there’s anyone else out there that is a better match for my sister. It’s going to be a small ceremony with family and just a few friends present, which will be nice. I’m not a big fan of huge weddings anyway
On other fronts, things with my house are going well, I finally got rent paid on time last month (for the first time in 3 months) so my landlord should have any relevant fears allayed. My power bill was cut in half this month because my neighbor (who shares my power meter) finally stopped using their electric heater.
I have to go get some clothes today for the wedding …traditionally I’m not much of a clothes connoisseur, so it’ll be interesting.

I have 3 friends overseas right now and I miss them all. Sean is in South Africa, Taryn is in Turkey, and Dayna is either in England or about to travelthere. It’s crazy! Most of my friends have moved home for the summer so I’m anxious for them all to come back in August, but I’m sure I will keep busy while they’re away. Hopefully I might even get to take a vacation to Montana in July or so. Here’s hoping!

It’s been almost two weeks since I posted…things have been extremely busy, with work at my job taking up most of my time, and finally quitting it on Friday. I’m back working for AJCC in Pasadena doing something I enjoy far more. My passion is definitely for the desktop support arena, not so much the corporate network environment. It feels good to know that I won’t have to go to downtown LA this week to deal with law firms and whatnot. Yay for Monday!